you will be my statue

you will be my statue

you will stand like a hero

while i stare at you

as i figure out

why exactly i am the way i am

i trace and race my imagination

on every scar on your body

trying to understand the pain

that made you believe it was ok

to walk away from me

you will listen to my childhood wishes

because i have too much at stake

for you to wake me from this dream

that you too miss the moments,

the chances and dances

we could have shared.

you will be my statue

you will stand

and try to understand

that wherever i go

i carry your face

the one that wears itself out in my head

the one that stared at me

and left me orphaned

as the few memories i have of you

morphed into burning pictures

and empty carnivals.

you will hold my face in yours hands

you will give me a comforting gaze

while i collect the days you stole from me.

you will be my statue

my idol, my personal jesus

i will kneel at your altar

and my fear wont betray me

or make me falter

because i will speak of the thinks

the times the places

the falls, winters, summers and springs

that stayed cold and absent of you.

i will usher myself into your heart of stone

my world where the air is thin

and the loneliness is thick

where my heart exist between a pendulum

of forgiveness and regret

that place when i speak your name

my tongue is heavy

my voice accent with hunger

of wanting to know the little things

others knew about their fathers.

you will be my statue

and i will forgive

our alikeness is something that i need to feel and live

i now know that addiction

just takes and takes

but we both now have too much at stake

for unresolved anger to break and tear

the moments, the chances and dances

we are about to share.

written by: louie a. ortiz-fonseca

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